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The intensity and duration of a painful break up is proportional to your determination to hold on to your relationship. The emotions you are feeling and the pain they cause are a result of what you thinking, therefore the solution to your pain is simple; you have to think about something else. It is not possible to think happy thoughts and feel emotional pain at the same time. Don't take my word for it, rather demonstrate it to your self by having a happy thought and see how you feel.
Take five minutes and do the following exercise:- Close you eyes and think of a place, time or event in your life which made you laugh. It could be a funny thing that happened at school or work maybe something a child said or did. Run this thought through your mind for a few minutes and really get into the memory.
Talk to someone who remembers the incident and have a laugh about it. You'll find that one happy memory leads to another and before you know it you will be having a great time. In the middle of all of this check your mood, check for pain, but do not let you thoughts stray away from the fun.
You'll find that what I said is true; you cannot feel emotional pain and think happy thoughts at the same time. While this little exercise is not in its self the solution to you heartache it certainly demonstrates that it is possible for you to have a dramatic effect on your emotions.
By trying to make sense of your break up you can literally think yourself ill but equally you can also think yourself better. By using proven psychological techniques and strategies you can have a huge effect on how long it takes you to get over your break up. Â
Ultimately the secret to coping with emotional pain lies with what thoughts you are focusing on and if you can control you thoughts you can control how you feel.
If you are suffering as a result of a break up or unsure of what to do next you will find help and direction at my blog at http://breakupadvice.co.uk or http://healmybrokenheart.brighterplanet.org
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