Mentorship - The Key to Staying Sharp!

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Today's pastor carries a lot of high expectations. Not only are you expected to be an authority on your particular denominational doctrine and traditions, but also skilled in speaking, counseling, management, leadership, as well as astute in politics and fundraising. Whew! Talk about being all things to all people! Unfortunately, seminary often doesn't prepare you for this reality. Worse yet, often times you find yourself trying to meet all of these expectations alone, in fear of being found out that you're really Clark Kent instead of the Superman that your congregation expects you to be.

As a result of such demands, the statistics of pastors and their families being overwhelmed by the pressures of pastoring are startling. According to recent statistics from The Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc: 

90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week.
80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many pastor's children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.
90% feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the ministry demands and 50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job.
70% say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.
70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.
50% have considered leaving the ministry in the last months.
50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.
Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.

So how does a pastor (or any ministry leader) avoid becoming yet another victim of burnout due to the unrealistic expectations of churchgoers? Well, along with lots of prayer and support from family, friends and congregants, I believe that the solution is a practice that has been tried and proven over the ages, yet is often overlooked and undervalued. This practice is mentorship.

Why Mentorship?

 In the book of Proverbs, Solomon provides this wise counsel.

 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 (NIV) 

Through this scripture, Solomon explains why mentorship is so essential for Christian leaders. Simply put, it keeps you sharp! Meaning, it keeps you keen and alert! This is vital for every Christian leader to understand because it specifically protects you from Satan's primary tactic against you, which is to wear you down! (Daniel 7:25) 

The high propensity for pastoral burnout is no accident! It is intentional! Satan desires to overwhelm you with unrealistic religious busy work until you lose your passion and your edge to the point that you decide to give up on your calling. Pastor, this is the battle that many are losing right now because they won't heed to Solomon's wisdom. However, you don't have to be one of them. My aim for this article is to show how you can stay sharp and avoid becoming another burnout statistic by first explaining further some of the practical benefits of mentoring, then showing qualities to look for when choosing a mentor. 

The Benefits of Mentoring

Traditionally, the mentoring relationship has reflected the model of an apprenticeship. This is where a more experienced person who is considered an expert or master of their craft instructs a younger novice until they reach a certain level of proficiency. However, as a result of living in the information age, the current mentoring dynamic is becoming more relational and reciprocal (two-way). Today, most people come to the table with some type of expertise due to advancements and integration of technology - primarily the Internet, and the shift to a more service-oriented workforce. 

What this means for current ministry leaders is the potential of establishing a mentoring relationships with their peers that could provide them both a lifetime of continuous learning and advancement. As you will soon find out, this relationship dynamic is critical to providing major practical benefits to those participating in this relationship.

Prevents Isolation

According to a 2006 study of protestant pastors conducted by the Barna Group, most struggle with personal relationships. They state that the reason for this is from a lost sense of connection with others due to the unusual relational dynamics and expectations created by their occupation. The study also indicated that 61% of pastors admit that they have few close friendships. Consequently, this leads to one-sixth of today's pastors feeling under appreciated and relationally isolated. Being isolated and having feelings of being underappreciated is a recipe for depression. This is most likely the reason why 70% of pastors say they have a lower self-image now than they did when they first started. It also explains why 80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families.

Just the simple notion of having a mentor to provide a trusting relationship goes far in preventing the potentially disastrous consequences resulting from isolation. Although, for most pastors, it takes a lot of effort to pursue and maintain such a relationship, this benefit alone makes the effort worthwhile.

Expands Your Vision

One of the toughest things to admit is that you don't know something. This is especially hard for pastors and other ministry leaders because the expectation is for you to know it all. Like I stated before, you are expected to be an expert on all sorts of things. While this is slowly changing, many pastors still feel like they should be the expert-in-residence, thus not seek out either internal or external consultants in regards to their leadership. However, what I've learned is no matter your educational background or your experience, it is always hard to view what you do objectively. You are naturally limited to your perception. So it is always good to have another set of eyes that can see beyond your blind spots and reveal the possibilities that are currently beyond your scope. The popular saying is true. Two eyes are better than one. 

Accelerates Your Progress

The purpose of a mentoring relationship is to facilitate in helping you achieve greater levels of success professionally and even personally. With a trusting relationship and an expanded vision, you can't help but advance towards your future goals. Yet, what may surprise you is how quickly you actually get there. The reason this occurs is because of the skills, knowledge, and experiences that mentors bring to the table. They've "been there", and "done that", which makes them living blueprints to your next level. Just by following their examples, and heeding their advice, they can become literal shortcuts to your success.

Qualities of a Mentor

There is an old saying that goes, "When the student is ready, the teacher appears." Although true in many ways, many miss out on mentorship opportunities because they simply fail to recognize the teacher when they appear. This occurs because most people do not have a list of qualities to look for in a potential mentor. So here are a few so you can immediately recognize them when they do appear.

Trustworthy

The mentoring process is based on honesty and trust; therefore, it is crucial that you look for these same qualities in a potential mentor. Determining a person's character is not quick or easy, but will be worth your time so you can have an effective mentoring relationship.

Challenging

Since the goal of mentoring is to advance you from one level of development to another, the only way to do this is by exposing you to new experiences, people, methods and possibly ideologies forcing you to think and operate outside of your comfort zone. But a good mentor will need to test and challenge your convictions to see how strong they are and to expose their weaknesses.

Patient and Encouraging

Sooner or later you will make mistakes out of fear, ignorance, or doubt as you undergo the mentorship process. You will become discouraged as you realize how strenuous the process of your development is. So it is critical to have a mentor who is patient enough to tolerate your mistakes and wise enough to know your development will take time. Therefore, look for mature people who know how to celebrate when you win, but even more important, encourage you when you lose. 

Accessible

Ideally, you want a mentor who is both willing and able to set aside time specifically for the purpose of mentoring you one-on-one. You want total access to them so you can communicate with them regularly and have opportunity to "hang out" while they are doing what they are training you for. The advantage of having this type of access is that the best lessons learned are those, which are caught through observations and experiences, rather than taught in a classroom or in an interview. Most of the time people get into a habit of doing a particular action that is significant to their success, which seems insignificant to them. Thus they will often times forget to verbalize it. Therefore, you want to take advantage of any and every opportunity to observe them in action so you can hear and see what was not said. 

What about people who aren't accessible? 

Today's technology and media offers you the chance to never miss out on learning from certain celebrities or industry giants not immediately accessible. Along with purchasing their books, DVDs and CDs, you can also attend their seminars and workshops, which they present during the year. Be open to participating on a web conference or a teleconference they are conducting. Visit their booths at various conferences and expos in your area. Just because you may not know them does not mean you cannot still benefit from their knowledge and have their wisdom impact you in a significant way.

Conclusion

Entering into a mentoring relationship is a decision that shouldn't be made lightly. You will find that not every person you chose will be mentor material. So always cover your decisions with prayer. Also remember that you have a part to play as well. Be teachable, flexible and committed to the process. Once you do you will make a tremendous step at avoiding burnout and accepting God's next level for your life. 

Stay Sharp Pastor!

Dr. Tecoy Porter Sr. is co-Pastor at Genesis Church in Sacramento, CA. He earned his MBA in 1995 and is an award winning author of Releasing Your Inner Treasure: 8 Kingdom Keys to Unlocking the Wealth Within You. Dr. Porter is currently pursuing an additional Doctorate in Strategic Leadership from Regent University's School of Global Leadership and Entrepreneurship.

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